Too often we allow the people in our lives to take a piece of our hearts and twist it into knots. We allow them to convince us that we don't matter, we're not important, we're not in control, we're somehow less than. We accept their version of who we are and start viewing ourselves that way. We want to curl up in a corner with our teddy bear or lash out at them and hurt them back. It's human nature.
But we get to choose how to respond when those we love (or those we don't) make their choice to be insensitive or overbearing. We can choose to engage them or we can choose to walk away. One step beyond that choice is the choice about what to do with our feelings. We can choose to allow the hurt to fester or we can let it go and get on with life. None of this is easy.
Our parents were taught that feelings should be ignored. The outlook was "pull yourself up by your boot straps" and get on with life. Then we entered the era of psychology where "feelings" we're put on a pedestal. We must let ourselves feel those hurts or we will never heal. The result has been a pretty neurotic and self-indulgent generation.
Science is now recognizing that feelings follow thoughts. If we change our thoughts, we change our feelings. All the proponents of positive affirmations will have you convinced of that very quickly.
I think the truth of the matter is that it's more about the total person. We are not simply our thoughts or our feelings, we are more than that. We are creative creatures with an evolving, erupting, engaging creative force within us that ebbs and flows and moves us (or not) ever closer to our essential selves.
Our problem, more often than not, is that we fight the process and try to control it, thus inhibiting our growth and happiness. We fare better when we let off the controls and allow our spirits to soar.
When we face a situation that locks us down or clams us up, it behooves us to recognize that it is a situation that is taking us away from who were meant to be and let it go. Turn instead toward the creative force within and allow it to lead you into the light of the destiny that awaits you.
Do not waste your time on those who do not love you or treat you right. Focus your time and energy on where your creative path is leading you.
You will find the answers there.